Secrets
by hazeleyedgirl505
Summary: In a matter of seconds Hermione's whole life is changed. Now she has to hide her secret and all the things that go along with. As her whole life goes horribly wrong she finds love in the most unexpected person. touchy subjects in the story. Dramione.
1. Epilogue

My name is Hermione Granger and this is my story. Sometimes I'd (and still do) wake up in the middle of the night and still here the rain pouring outside. Sometimes I'd feel him on me and try beyond belief to get him and his smell off me. Sometimes I'll sit up from my nightmare and feel the screams I never could do peel off my lips. That night will haunt me for the rest of my life.

You may think you know me, or at least the past me. On the outside I will always be: the girl in the back furiously writing down notes, rereading text books over and over again until I have them memorized, the first one for their hand to shoot up when a questioned is asked, the one everyone goes to with help for school. Also known as a bookworm, an extreme bookworm. But I'm not sure if that's still me. Maybe half of me is the same but the other half is different. I changed that night…that night will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I don't have to tell you this or want to but I _need_ to. Some things will change your life forever, even the littlest things, which I believe are the things that affect you the most. Or I used to…sure getting an O on a herbology test is something little but that may turn into something big when you're deciding on a career. Maybe the little things are really just the big things. Like learning your first spell maybe be little to someone else but huge to you. But at the same time giving birth to your first child is big to anyone and it'll change you. I'm not sure exactly what I want to say. Maybe anything and everything big and small changes you. I guess that's just life. That night will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Looking back at what I just wrote it seems really morbid, but isn't life? I mean people die all the time, there's abuse, rape, murder, drugs, and so many more horrible things. At the same time, though, there's those amazingly good things in life. Like your first broom ride, your first kiss, your first time, when your child says Mummy or Daddy, and just being together with your friends and having a good life. I guess I'm saying you can view life as a cup...half empty or half full. I once was that first but now I'm more of the second. I think what I'm trying to say is everyone lives their life...it all depends on how they do it. That night will haunt me for the rest of my life.

One thing I have learned from all of this is good can come from the bad, I mean I got you. In the process I also found love, an amazing love that changed me, made me wake up in the morning and thankful that I had one more day with that love. What I'm trying to say there's a reason for everything, and usually the reason has some good behind it.

I am Hermione Granger and this is my story.


	2. Chapter 1

"Hermione," I heard Harry call from downstairs, "let's go, we're going to be late! Get Ron while you're up there...oh, wait you're probably with him. Ugh, I'm mumbling! Just come downstairs, ASAP!"

I rolled my eyes as I pulled my lips away from Ron. "Okay, Harry we'll be down in a minute," I yelled. I looked back at Ron and before I knew it his lips attacked mine. I bit back a moan as I pulled away and started putting things in his trunk. "Honestly, Ron, we're about to leave and you haven't even started packing. I have my own stuff to put away...Ron, stop looking at me and do something! Ron get your hands off me, stop that tickles! RON STOP! Hahahahaha." I finally managed to push him off me before anyone came in thinking he was hurting me. "Finish packing and I'll meet you downstairs." I gave him a quick peck and left his room.

"Hey, 'Mione, I came upstairs to see if you were okay, since I heard you screaming," Ginny said. "Of course that could be screaming of pleasure...oh, no bad pictures of my best friend and my brother!" I laughed as we walked into her room and I threw some parchment and quills into my trunk. After a few minutes of silence I could feel Ginny staring at the back of my neck I turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, can I ask your advice, on something," I quickly nodded and she continued, "well, me and Harry have been dating for a while, almost 9 months, and I know we're going to get married. We've both been talking and we're ready to go to the erm...next level. Would you think less of me if I had sex with Harry?" Ginny finished the last part in a rush and I just stared at her in shock.

"Gin, if you and Harry are both mentally and physically ready to have sex then I see no problem in it...but I do remember you saying you always wanted to wait 'til you're married. Also, I know you say you and Harry are going to get married but wouldn't you rather wait and be married then be sorry? But if you're one hundred percent sure you want to now, than go ahead."

"I love Harry so much and I know he loves me. I know he's not using me and I feel like the time is right. If we don't get married, well, at least I have experience. Have you and Ron?"

"No, Ron wants to but it just doesn't feel right...right now. I mean I know I love Ron but we haven't said it to each other and even if we both wanted to it's not like we could do it here."

"I'd be scarred for life if I walked in on you and Ron, I'm sure Mum would be to!" We burst into laughter as we dragged our trunks downstairs. "Well, if your mum found you and Harry she'd start crying and say 'our little girl's grown up,'" I replied. Ginny nodded in agreement. As we reached the bottom I realized Ron must be in his room still packing. _Finally, a moment of being alone so I can think. I can't believe that Ginny and Harry relationship is so strong...I mean Ron and I fight all the time and he acts like a 1st year majority of the time. I do love him though; I just hope he loves me as well. One of his smiles just brightens up my day and when he touches me I feel my whole body is on fire. It's just that I feel like I have no time to myself it's always Ron and I. I have no time to think and Ron is always pressuring me to have sex. I swear that's all he thinks about. I mean can't we just cuddle without him making a move or saying a pervish joke. I guess you have to deal with the good and the bad...and there is way more good than bad with Ron. I really do love him._

"Hermione, could you help me finish packing?" I heard Ron yell.

"Oh, bless your soul, Hermione. Tell ho, to hurry up, we're leaving in ten minutes with or without him," a very frantic Mrs. Weasley said. I smiled to her as I quickly ran up the stairs and opened Ron's door. His room was a complete mess: there were clothes, shoes, parchment, boxers, books, and other small trinkets all over the floor. I held back a groan as I set to work. _He is such a messy person, honestly, now can anyone live with this stuff all over the place? Ewww, what is that on the floor and that and that?! _I picked up everything within hands reach and started folding it and putting it in his trunk. I was walking across the room when suddenly I slipped on the green slim I saw on the floor earlier. I felt myself falling backwards to the floor I was bracing myself for the fall but it never came.

Ron had caught me before I hit the ground. His arm was encircled my waist, I smiled at him as I searched his electric blue eyes. _Eyes really are the windows to your soul. _I looked at his upside down face and whispered, "I love you."

**(A/N) **Well this is my first story. I'm writing this by myself so I'm sorry if there are grammar/spelling mistakes. I hope you've liked it so far. I'm going to try to submit a new chapter at least once a week. I'm really sorry that my chapters are really short I'm planning on them to be longer. A main part of the story involves 'abuse' I'm going to try to be not extremely graphic. This is going to be a long story since I have a big plot planned out. I love reviews, so please do so. Criticize if you find anything you don't like. R&R. Love C.


	3. Chapter 2

"I love you." I searched his face for any reaction but all I saw was confusion and possibly...disappointment.

"I...erm...Hermione...I," he muttered. I realized as I looked at him that this was so much like how we were when he asked me out.

0000 (Flashback)

"_Hermione, you're finally here! It seems like I haven't seen you in forever!" Ron exclaimed as he came downstairs. He enveloped me in a hug and I quickly hugged him back. Smiling I leaned closer so I could smell his cologne...pine and new grass. It was a natural scent and it always brightened up my mood, just like Ron. We separated and I went over to talk to Ginny. As I was pulling away I felt something slip into my pocket I looked up curiously but Ron was already walking away. _

"_Couldn't you hear my telepathic messages to get your ass over here, 'Mione?" Ginny asked then giggled. I simply shrugged my shoulders and she continued. "I have so much to tell you! Guess what?" without waiting for a response she dragged me to a moth-eaten couch and continued. "Harry and I are going out! You would have seen it happen but you just _had _to spend time with your parents."_

"_Ginny, I see my parents for like one week a year. You get your family all summer! See what happened?"_

"_Well, once you said good-bye you rushed off before you could see Harry ask me out."_

"_Wait, so he asked you out in front of your whole family?"_

"_Yeah, that's how I knew he really liked me because he was willing to embarrass himself in front of everyone, especially Fred and George. Anyway, after you left Harry was like 'Gin, can I talk to you?' I just nodded. So we started walking away but Mum called us back over since we had to leave soon and we have to stop by the Dursley's so Harry could quickly spend his time there before we went home. (_**A/N**: I didn't understand that whole part in the book so that may not make much sense, also I'm not exactly sure what year this is taking place) _Harry sighed but walked back. Mum started to walk away but Harry asks her if we can wait one more minute. Everyone (Weasley family and other people near by) starts to notice that something's about to happen so they crowd around. Harry blushes but ignores 'em. Now, this is the best part!" I nodded enthusiastically for Ginny to continue. "So Harry looks at me straight in the eyes and I swear he can see into my very soul. He goes 'Ginny, you are my best mates little sister I'm not suppose to view you as something more than a friend...but I do. You're beautiful, smart, have a great personality, and just an amazing girl. I don't want someone to snag you away from me. Please give me a chance to be something more than just your brother's friend. Ginny will you go out with me?' I seriously stared at him for a minute because I was so shocked. It was quite funny because mum was sniffling behind me going 'my little girl is growing up' and everyone, especially Fred and George, was so surprised by Harry expressing his feelings in front of them that they stood still. Harry started to fiddle with his sleeves because he thought I was going to say no, but in front of everyone I pulled him towards me and we snogged in front of everyone. Oh, my gosh, 'Mione, it was so romantic!'_

"_That is so sweet! I didn't know Harry had it in him. What did Ron do?"_

"_Well, he looked pissed for a moment then grabbed Harry by his collar and said 'you better not hurt her Harry!' It was so funny. Harry looked afraid and then just nodded and then Ron just walked away. Hahahaha...so what _is _up with you and Ron?" Ginny asked._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Oh, c'mon Hermione, Ron obviously likes you and you truly obviously like him. You two are just too stubborn to accept that you like each other more than friends." Ginny exclaimed._

"_Shut up, Ginny! The whole house probably just heard what you said and Ron doesn't like me more than a friend. I mean he always asks me for advice on girls and he tells me which girls are hot!"_

"_Ron's just trying to find out what you would want a guy to do and when he talks about girls he wants to see if you get jealous. You know guys don't take a chance 'til they're 100 sure that the girl likes them back."_

"_Are you sure Ron likes me back?" Ginny nodded. "Well, I really like him and I don't want to make a complete idiot out of myself if he doesn't like me back. Oh! I almost forgot I felt Ron slip something into my pocket, well, I'm assuming it was Ron." I grabbed the piece of paper from my pocket and quickly read through it._

"_What does it say?" Ginny asked before snatching it out of my hand. "'Dear Hermione, Can you meet me in my room when you have a free second? I need to tell you something. Yours, Ron.' Oh, my gosh, 'Mione he totally likes you! I wonder what he's going to say. You have to go up to his room right now!" Ginny grabbed me by the arm and started to push me up the stairs._

"_Ginny, I can walk by myself! It's not like I'm going to run away. Now let go of me and _

_don't eavesdrop!" I said before I walked into Ron's room and closed the door in her face. I turned around and saw Ron just looking at me._

"_Hey, you wanted to talk to me?"I asked as I started walking towards him, dodging all his clothes on the floor._

"_Yeah, listen 'Mione, I've wanted to say this for a while..." I looked up at him and before I knew it I was falling through the air since I slipped on a piece of his clothing. Suddenly, Ron had me in his arms. _For once Quidditch has come in handy (the lighting fast skills Ron developed from playing it). _He was holding me with his arms linked with mine (like in the falling back game to see if the person catches you, the way they hold you when they catch you). He quickly turned me around with me still suspended in the air. His one hand was supporting my head while the other was wrapped around my waist. _

"_Thanks," I muttered. I noticed that he was looking me straight in the eyes which made me nervous and a little uncomfortable so I unwillingly started to blush._

"_No problem. Hermione, I've been a complete idiot," I was about to open my mouth to ask why but Ron quickly said. "Hermione, I don't mean sound rude but please just shut up this once and listen to me." I nodded and he continued. "I've been a complete idiot because I never realized what an incredible and gorgeous woman you are. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did and always getting in stupid fights with you. Hermione, you've always been my friend and until two years I never realized you were well...a girl. But you're more than a girl you are I can't even put into words what an amazing person you are. These past few years I have developed feelings for you and I just want to know if you feel a little bit the same way about me as I feel about you?"_

_I just stared at him for a minute in shock and then I finally got my voice back. "Yes, Ron. I've liked you for so long." I whispered. _

"_Hermione I think I _might_...l-l-love you." Ron whispered before closing the distance between us and snogging me._

"_Finally! It took you guys what two years!" Ginny exclaimed as she burst into the room Harry close behind her._

"_Yeah, I know Gin." Harry replied._

"_Oh, excuse me, Mr. I-really-like-Ginny-but-she's-Ron's-little-sister! You've liked her since you saved her in the chamber of secrets!" I replied._

"_Oh, shut up 'Mione. By the way Ron I could grab you by the collar and say you better not hurt Hermione, but that goes without saying." Harry said. _

_Ron rolled his eyes before saying. "At least I gave you and Ginny your private time, now please leave, for me and Hermione to get some of our own." Harry and Ginny walked out of the room holding hands and I returned my gaze back to Ron. "Now where were we?" He asked. _

_I kissed him until I couldn't hold back the need to breath. "Ron, there's no might...I know I love you. Now let's go down to Ginny's room I need to unpack." Ron just looked at me in shock before following me out of the room._

00000 (End of flashback)

"Hermione...I..." I just stared at him in shock. _He's not going to say it back. _

Ginny suddenly burst into the room. "Let's go before mom really freaks out!" I glared back at Ron before I left the room. _He doesn't love me..._

**(A/N) **Wow, this chapter was almost four pages!  I just want to clarify what the italics mean. If it's just a sentence it's Hermione's thoughts. Besides that I'll clarify if it's a flashback like in this chapter or if it's a diary entry (like the epilogue). I might stick a diary entry in the middle of a chapter, I probably won't state that it's a diary entry so hopefully you can figure it out. I also want to mention that all my chapters have a purpose. I know last chapter seemed like a bunch of fluff but there was actually some important stuff in it. I wanted to do this chapter so it could explain how everyone got together. Well, hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. Read and Review, please!


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